Big Flop

I was off to a lousy start this morning after coming back from my break when I benefitted from this massive flop. Some would criticize my passiveness here and suggest that I would only get action from 1010 but I had position and felt he was either very strong or very weak and was prone to making a bluff if weak because he had shown so much strength on the flop. We'll never know if I played him wrong, as it turned out he was drawing to a quad one outer. It was good timing as it saved my session and I ended up ahead.

I am hoping this is a harbinger of good luck to come as I will be playing quite a bit to end the month and retain my Platinum status heading into a busy poker month of May.


PokerStars Game #9489957585: Hold'em No Limit ($0.50/$1.00) - 2007/04/18 - 18:00:13 (ET)
Table 'Iolanda II' 9-max Seat #9 is the button
Seat 1: KevKoN ($96.90 in chips)
Seat 2: paulieo63 ($80 in chips)
Seat 3: nudger11 ($61.95 in chips)
Seat 4: eNTiTy ($104.40 in chips)
Seat 5: kridak ($46.90 in chips)
Seat 6: LewisT ($54.10 in chips)
Seat 7: DaveCLTL ($172.35 in chips)
Seat 8: DonJ ($78 in chips)
Seat 9: grimace ($94.50 in chips)
KevKoN: posts small blind $0.50
paulieo63: posts big blind $1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to DonJ [8c 8h]
nudger11: raises $2 to $3
eNTiTy: folds
kridak: calls $3
LewisT: calls $3
DaveCLTL: folds
DonJ: calls $3
grimace: folds
KevKoN: calls $2.50
paulieo63: calls $2
*** FLOP *** [Tc 8s 8d]
KevKoN: checks
paulieo63: checks
nudger11: bets $10
kridak: folds
LewisT: folds
DonJ: calls $10
KevKoN: folds
paulieo63: folds
*** TURN *** [Tc 8s 8d] [9c]
nudger11: bets $20
DonJ: calls $20
*** RIVER *** [Tc 8s 8d 9c] [Js]
nudger11: bets $28.95 and is all-in
DonJ: calls $28.95
*** SHOW DOWN ***
nudger11: shows [Td Th] (a full house, Tens full of Eights)
DonJ: shows [8c 8h] (four of a kind, Eights)
DonJ collected $132.90 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $135.90 Rake $3
Board [Tc 8s 8d 9c Js]
Seat 1: KevKoN (small blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 2: paulieo63 (big blind) folded on the Flop
Seat 3: nudger11 showed [Td Th] and lost with a full house, Tens full of Eights
Seat 4: eNTiTy folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 5: kridak folded on the Flop
Seat 6: LewisT folded on the Flop
Seat 7: DaveCLTL folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: DonJ showed [8c 8h] and won ($132.90) with four of a kind, Eights
Seat 9: grimace (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)

The ability to walk away

I am just realizing what a whirlwind the past few months have been. I am emotionally and mentally exhausted. Even though I had a forced week away from poker last week I still have not recovered mentally from the grind of the past few months. Playing poker, working non-stop, and learning to balance these things with raising my son and spending time with family.

At first my game was not suffering even though other parts of my life have been. Lately the grind has started to get to me and I am recognizing that there are times when it is best to walk away. To take a break. To let my mind rest and regather itself. Part of me wants to grind it out. Keep going. But I know this is a sign of tilt. Usually a short term tilt when I am tired after a graveyard shift. I want to recoup my losses. Battle back and get even. Sometimes it works out but usually it just leads to bigger losses. Today though I am seeing these symptoms on a daily basis. I am experiencing a life tilt. And it is affecting more than just my poker game. It is affecting the way I deal with everything I am doing. Especially my relationships with family and friends. I have always prided myself on my ability to balance the things that are important to me. Lately I have been finding it more difficult than usual to find that balance.

I am not saying I am walking away from poker. Quite the contrary. I still expect to be going Supernova sometime in late summer. But I want to walk away from letting it consume my emotions. From letting it consume my time.
Part of the problem I think is the realization of pressure from the fact that I may be required to withdraw a portion of my bankroll every month while still trying to grow it. The fact that I need to make a certain amount every month....I guess it is just another step on my poker journey. The fact that I am on the verge of being a dare I say it, a semi-pro. It is a bit more pressure on my game than I have been used too. And as much as I did not think it would affect me....it has. My ability to just walk away at any time has been replaced by... you can walk away if....I get all my other ducks in a row. It adds pressure, but why? I have had no plans to stop playing or to play a lot less. But maybe the pressure comes from the thinking when I wake up in the morning, Hey man, you better put some hours in....you better gets some fpps. Sigh. How can I walk away from that. How can I keep the game enjoyable?

I will be working for the next week straight so that will limit my playing opportunities but maybe this is the opportunity to get my mind rested. To let the worries fade. To reenergize, to refocus, to reorganize my life in general. Then maybe there won't be any reasons to just..walk away.

Reeling

Well...its been quite a bad week. First my computer went down on the 31st and not back in action until the 6th. Then our ailing 4 year old cat had to be put down. To top off the week I have been taking beat after beat at the tables. 4 flopped sets in a row have been stacked. I lost the hand histories except for the latest. Good ol' KK vs AA. Yep we both flopped sets.....Am I supposed to throw away flopped KKK now???

PokerStars Game #9317074267: Hold'em No Limit ($0.50/$1.00) - 2007/04/08 - 13:21:21 (ET)Table 'Sandrine' 9-max Seat #7 is the button
Seat 1: MfnJakeman ($49.45 in chips)
Seat 2: atlpinkpony ($106 in chips)
Seat 3: vluff ($100 in chips)
Seat 4: VIP147 ($52.25 in chips)
Seat 5: Pandochat ($173.50 in chips)
Seat 6: BigDaddyBMe ($93.50 in chips)
Seat 7: DonJ ($112.75 in chips)
Seat 8: Basadoni ($101.25 in chips)
Seat 9: Thomas6409 ($148.10 in chips)
Basadoni: posts small blind $0.50
Thomas6409: posts big blind $1
*** HOLE CARDS ***Dealt to DonJ [Kd Kc]
MfnJakeman: folds
atlpinkpony: folds
vluff: raises $3 to $4
VIP147: folds
Pandochat: folds
BigDaddyBMe: folds
DonJ: calls $4
Basadoni: folds
Thomas6409: folds
*** FLOP *** [4d Kh Ac]
vluff: bets $5
DonJ: calls $5
*** TURN *** [4d Kh Ac] [8h]
vluff: bets $12
DonJ: calls $12
*** RIVER *** [4d Kh Ac 8h] [7d]
vluff: bets $40
DonJ: raises $51.75 to $91.75 and is all-in
vluff: calls $39 and is all-in
*** SHOW DOWN ***
DonJ: shows [Kd Kc] (three of a kind, Kings)
vluff: shows [Ah As] (three of a kind, Aces)
vluff collected $198.50 from pot

Yes, I did not play this hand optimally. First off I was smooth calling preflop. And really what could he possibly have that I beat. Clearly AA was a very big possibility. I probably could have just smooth called the river here. But what the hell. This was the 4th set in the past two days where I've had the worst of it at showdown including my 3rd set of Kings!!

Down about 600 since I got my computer back. Yikes. On top of it I am lagging in my race for double platinum vpps in April. In fact I am a huge dog to get there as my work schedule is heavier than normal this month. Platinum might end up a challenge this month, which a pain in the neck because that means I will be playing when I'm maybe not at my best.

To finish off I would like to pay a remembrance to our Norbert. He loved to jump and play. He was our double champion when he went in a cat show. He was about half the size for his breed to begin with, as he was inbred. But he had a big heart. In the end his genetics let him down and we are sad to see him go. We will miss you.

I sure hope things turn around.
DonJ